I just want to be the F*@!&#% BUTTERFLY!
I'm stressed.I am tired.
I feel like everytime I take a step forward in my life, my other foot gets lodged in the sand, thus forcing me to make a large step BACKWARDS, just in an attempt to break even.
I begin each day with a keen intention to rest in the arms of grace, but find myself falling asleep each night to the subtle whispers of failure and the spine tingling buzz of despair. I claim to have hope and freedom. The truth of my life is that I am a slave to the horor that is myself. I'm bound in chains that no other person can see. The weight of the journey has pulled me down.
I tell myself not to feel defeated. I'm a warrior of faith, afterall... Or am I? I look in the mirror and see a shell of a person I used to be. I've lost my essence. I assume it went along with my innocense and the remains of a so-called childhood. I can picture them all strolling along the coast hand in hand, snickering as if my life was just a game.
My heart is torn. I see where I want to be. I understand where I am. The worst part is the space between.
My cocoon is shrinking around me. Maybe I'm just growing inside. Either way, I'm ready to burst. I just pray I emerge as something better than I am today.
posted by Elizabeth @ 10:36:00 PM
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