i found grace

Helpful Hints.

I feel like I spend much of my time getting to know people- like REALLY know them. I like to understand what their gifts are, what kind of temperament they have, how they communicate, and how they view themselves. And, it usually works. Not to be arrogant in any way, but I am rarely wrong about people.

So- here is MY problem…

There are a few people out there who have yet to figure me out. And not like I am planning to bear my soul, and introduce others to the intricate details of my being- I just want to ‘enlighten’ some folks on how to ‘get’ me. And in essence, not piss me off…

1.I am an intelligent woman. Talk to me as such. I may be quirky and somewhat naïve to some sexual exploits- but I’m a smart cookie. And 9 times out of 10, I’ll figure it out on my own. Don’t talk down to me. You may have knowledge in other areas than me- but I guarantee you are not smarter.

2.I get tired sometimes. My days can be long, and my brain gets fried. My job is great most days, but noting is perfect. I get overwhelmed. I feel less than. Other rub their successes in my face. I use my brain all day long. When I get home, I don’t want to talk. I want to relax, and re-focus. And I don’t want to hear you speak.

3.I do more than most in one day’s time. Give me some credit. I have my career. I go to school full time. I take care of my dog. I keep up an immaculate house- inside and out (mostly). I maintain a large group of friends. I read my bible. I talk to God. And, I try really hard to be a good friend. AND, I pretend like it’s not a big deal. But it is, and sometimes I need help. Instead of telling me where I fall short, help me celebrate what I accomplish. I’m hard enough on myself.

4.I understand what hard times are. I’ve been there. You don’t need details- you just need to realize that although I am young in years, I am old in life experience. I would never tell you that my life has been harder than yours, so don’t tell me that yours has been harder than mine. Different is the appropriate word. There is no way to equalize life experience. Celebrate my joys, and hold my hand in the sorrow, just don’t belittle my reality.

5.I am strong. I’d rather suffer in silence than allow someone to see me be weak. I know how to hold my head up, and hold back the tears. I know how to be the mature one in a situation. I’m not perfect, but I believe I can handle quite a bit. God gave my broad shoulders in more ways than one. I carry a lot. Don’t argue.

6.I talk through my feelings. I am excellent at verbalizing my emotions, and responses. If I am talking about something deep- don’t try to fix the problem. Don’t tell me about your personal experiences. Just listen. I have yet to meet someone who can do this. Your words are only that. Words. So refrain from saying more than: I’ll pray for you; that really sucks; I love you, or I’m sorry. I don’t need anything else. I don’t want anything else.

7.I know how to apologize. I can see my faults. When you tell me I have hurt you, my genuine response will be that I see it, and I am sorry. When I tell you that you have hurt me, please do the same. Don’t make excuses, or tell me you are working on it. Say: I AM SORRY. It’s not hard, but it mends my heart faster than you could ever imagine. Own it. You are not perfect. Get over it.

8.I’m real. What you see is what you get. The only thing I pretend to be is tough. My friendship is real. My love is real. My hurt is real. Please be real. If you are not, I will loose interest and respect. Although if you can’t be honest, you probably don’t care.

9.I won’t lie to you. Ask me anything. I’ll tell you. But, if you don’t want to know, don’t ask. Again, this goes both ways. If I ask your opinion it is because I care what you think. If I don’t ask, don’t give it. Simple, huh.

10.I like to have attention. But, I can be okay without it too. What gets really frustrating to me is other peoples need to be important all the time. I see it as a sign of insecurity, you need to be accepted. But, who are you trying to impress? God is the only one worthy of that, and trust me, when you gossip, or breach confidence, or slander others to make yourself look better, I am pretty sure he’s not impressed. Get your priorities in line.

11.I have great expectations. For all that I am I believe in the possibility of great and marvelous things. So you don’t. You think my hopes and dreams and everything that defines my core is a bunch of hooey. Oh well. Do you tell a 3 year old there is no Santa? No. Why? Because no decent person wants to be responsible for crushing a belief. So leave my dream alone. If they don’t come true, I’m the one who will be disappointed, not you. Who’s it hurting? Let me believe.

12.Don’t complain. It’s the ugliest thing you can do. All you do is pull others down. If you don’t like your job, get a new one. If you don’t like your friends, get new ones. If you think you are fat, go to the gym and quit eating crap. If you don’t like your boyfriend, break up with him. Honestly, if you want to actually make changes, I will be with you every step of the way. But, if you complain I will tune you out. Really.

13.When I am done, I am done. I shut down. It’s what I do. If you compete with me, or talk over me, or interrupt me, I will stop talking. I will disengage. And then our conversation will be over. End of story.

14.It’s almost always obvious how I am feeling. Pay a little attention. Ok.

15. I am a perfectionist. Failure is my biggest fear. Be mindful of this when you criticize. Though I may act tough as nails, sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Human, yeah, that's what they call it...

Nothing written is intended to elevate ME in any way. I fall short. I GET THAT. You want to get me, these are just some clues. If you read this and think that nothing is about you, you are probably wrong. Right or wrong, this is how I feel. Think what you want- I don’t really care.

posted by Elizabeth @ 8:45:00 PM