Back in the grind.
I feel a little overwhelmed. School started last week, and to make a long story short- I no longer have a life. Granted most of my courses are somewhat interesting, they are still school, and I still have to do homework.
I know that when I graduate it will be by the grace of God, because there is NO way I can do this on my own.
I like quotes. I like them a lot. I realize that they do not count as actual blog entries, but I do not care. I find that even thought I love to talk, and I do so often, when it comes to matters of my heart, I can't seem to find the words.
Today, this is my quote. A really great guy sent it to me, and today was the first chance I had to read it. And today, this is how I feel.
I just came off of a wonderful 2 week break from work. I spent the weekend in Lake Tahoe, experiencing God in a very new way. I came home to the news that my Grandmother was in the hospital. Her heart is failing, and she will probably die soon. I cried amongst friends in the car on the way home. We prayed. I felt as if no one heard.
I went and saw my Grandmother yesterday. I sat with her for hours. I tried to share the love of Christ with her. I held her hand, and my mom and I did her hair. I prayed for her. And I felt distant from the Lord.
Today, when I read the quote, I knew it was meant for me to read
today. Even though I
feel insignificant, and weak, I
know that I am a child of God, and he loves to hear my voice.
Even the most sincere, the most deeply founded in faith, go through hours of despair. At such times it is important to continue praying. Perhaps it will sound as if we are talking into an echo chamber. Or perhaps we will feel that our efforts are so insignificant, so weak, that our voice can never reach heaven. But prayer never depends on our feeling close to God; he is always close to us, and he does hear us.
Johann Christoph Arnold
