i found grace

I got my first job when I was 15. I worked in a little café serving yogurt and making coffee. I enjoyed it a first. But, I got bored, and my boss was nuts, having me work 35+ hours a week while in high school. I ended up quitting after only 3 months. Rather, my mom quit for me. Then, after I got my drivers license, I got a new job. I worked for E&B Company. We manufactured leather cases for laptop and palmtop computers. I worked with my pastor’s daughter, who became a very close friend. I was the backroom manager, which basically meant that I processed shipments, kept track of stock, and filled orders. I remember blaring the music and dancing in the back. We would sing at the top of our lungs. We’d hang out together after work, and pray together when life got tough. It was just us girls- 4 of us, like a family.

But, as my junior year of high school came to an end, I embarked on a new adventure. I packed up all my stuff and moved to Europe. Well, kind of. I went and lived with a family in Switzerland. I was an exchange student, trying to put into practice the 4 years of French I had taken in school. While there, I went to school, and traveled all over France. I got to see Italy and Germany. It was wonderful. I returned home just in time to begin my senior year. I was a changed girl. I wanted ‘more’. So around Christmas time, I quit E&B Co. It was sad, and we all cried. But I moved on, to Lucky’s. Well, now it is Albertson’s, but a grocery store none the less. I worked there for quite a while. I loved it in the winter, the rain everywhere, clothing totally soaked. But when the summer came, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was making good money for a high school kid, but I wanted to be an adult. I wanted a real job. So I got one. A friend put in some awesome words for me, and I was handed the job of a lifetime.

At 18 years old, freshly graduated from high school, I became a Branch Office Administrator for Edward D. Jones and Co. Wow. I was in the world of stocks and bonds, and trading. I worked everyday with an Investment Representative, and I had my own business card. There was so much to learn, and I know now that I was in way over my head. Eventually the lure of ‘college life’ got to me. My friends were out having fun, while I was stuck working overtime at the office. I’d show up after work, in my 3-piece suit, and not only look, but also feel totally out of place. I was making a massive amount of money, but lacked the maturity to save it. I was taking college classes, but at night, with old, boring people. I barely made it through the semester. So, when my boss refused to give me time off the day before my surrogate sisters wedding, I’d had enough. I quit then and there. I was tired of being controlled by a man with very little morale, and even less integrity. Not to reflect badly on Edward Jones, I still do my investing with them, just a different broker. I had very little time to find a new job.

I settled with a soon-to-be-open Black Angus Steakhouse. I started as a server, which apparently is very rare. I went through weeks of training, a grand opening, and several after work parties. I was shown respect, and I made decent tips. I made new friends, and began to feel comfortable with my surroundings. I went back to school the next semester with 18 units (during the day) and felt like a real college student. Whatever that is… Soon enough, I began to regret my decision. I was making considerably less money. I was happy, but making less money. So I got a second job. Pier 1 Imports. Oh, so fun! I was hired before it was opened, and I loved it. I was always getting new ideas on how to decorate. My mom loved it… I found something I was good at. Helping people. Selling. Decorating. And had I had enough time to develop my skills, I may have chosen to become an interior designer. But that didn’t happen. One afternoon while driving to pick up my mom, I was rear-ended. My life took a sudden turn into a tailspin. I was not prepared financially for that. And I seriously injured my body.

I had to quit everything. I began to get depressed. I was taking Vicodin for my pain, but nothing was helping. I eventually developed Mono, which wasn’t properly diagnosed until my second Emergency room visit. It took months to recover. Finally, the next Thanksgiving, I began to feel able to start working again. I signed up with a temp agency, which placed me with Verizon Wireless. I met some great people, who I still stay in contact with. It wasn’t long before my back was too aggravated to continue working. I got so fed up with my situation I finally hired a lawyer. And I began to pray about where I should work next. I had a few side jobs here and there. Being a nanny for a young single doctor, well for his 4 year old son… Stuff like that. I finally decided to apply with the school district. It took months for all the paperwork to go through, for me to get a badge, and my first assignment as a sub. Lucky for me, the second job they sent me to was at Gold River. And they begged me to stay. I did. I was content there. And then the whole day-after-you-get-home-from-Costa-Rica-you-no-longer-have-a-job thing happened. That is why I initially applied for the Gap.

I had a friend there, who was sure she could get me in, should the district not come through with a new placement. But, they did, and I started at my current location. In the meantime, I have been battling alongside my attorney over this stupid case. The lady’s insurance will not cover all my needs. So I begin to freak. I am going to be stuck with thousands of dollars of medical bills for something that isn’t even my fault. Imagine my surprise when Gap calls to offer me a job. I’d forgotten I had even applied what with the new job and all. But, with that debt hanging over my head, I accepted. And here I am today, finally, for the first time ever, actually writing all of this out. I’ve been so confused as to what direction to take my life.

I’ve been waiting for God to bring me a man who I can marry. I had imagined it would solve all my problems. I had imagined it would have happened by now. After all, I’ve always wanted to be a wife and a mom for my career. Today, I am done waiting. I’ve realized that I do have passions, and that they are God inspired. The Lord put kids on my heart for a reason. Maybe I will never have my own, but I have an opportunity much bigger that that staring me in the face. I can teach them. I can influence their lives; inspire them to become men and women of virtues, integrity, and compassion. I am going to create my own path. Knock on my own doors. I’m going to trust that God has already unlocked the right one. The peace I feel is undeniable. It is from Christ. Although I have searched far and wide for a golden scroll with God’s plans for my life scribbled upon it, I know now that I no longer want it. He knows what will happen, and that is good enough for me.

posted by Elizabeth @ 5:23:00 PM