i found grace

I'm sick. Again.

I have so many things that I want to write about, and I am frustrated with myself because I can't get my thoughts into words.

This weekend I have to confront a friend. This is something that I am not good at. I like everyone to get along, and be nice to each other. But, I also know that not dealing with a problem is unhealthy. I have half a mind to say that I am still sick because my body is not coping well with the stress of knowing I have to this. I really don't want to. But I am tired of getting hurt.

I tried to write out all my thoughts on the issue. I have to sort through all my reasons for feeling hurt and resentment and decide which ones are valid. I have to take the remaining issues to God and trust that he will give me the words and the love in which I am called to say them.

Part of me would prefer to just sit her down, slap her really hard, and say, "Knock it off. This has gone too far. I dread seeing you. You made me cry". Although this method would work very well for me, it would not get the point across to her. It wouldn't deal with the real issues. Plus, I don't think I could actually ever do that.

I had coffee with a friend last Tuesday night. I shared my concerns of confrontation. I am afraid. I don't want to do it. She gave me great advice. She said, " Don't ever underestimate the impact you have on someone else's life". I have had to really think about that as I have been lying in my bed the past 2 days. I never know how, or why, God will use me. But I do know that he will.

Update: I did it. By the grace of God, we are still friends. Stronger, and better.

posted by Elizabeth @ 4:22:00 PM