i found grace

i want to be brave.

I can't seem to overcome my fear. Fear of unknowns, of possibilities, of the inevitables. Fear of my own loss of control...

I am consumed with questions. There is a battle between my heart and mind. My head is rational, too much so at times. My heart is anxious. I am uneasy.

I don't understand. These are the times that His mighty hand is offered, and I instead clutch to my own. I want to depend, to let go, and to trust. But as everything seems to be spinning around me, I hold only to the thing I have never been afraid to count on- myself. I know how to smile, and laugh, and even make jokes. I know that I lack the ability to be serious, and look my own struggles head on. I'm the first to point out the positive, as long as it pertains to someone else. I have a lot of faults. One thing I can always do is pretend. And although I have lost the art a little, I am sure I can face this, and fool everyone around me.

God, save me. Protect my flesh, and gaurd my heart. Give me a unwavering strength.

I don't want anyone to see how scared I truly am.

posted by Elizabeth @ 7:15:00 PM